Kanika Nikki Utley has served as a Producer on a host of acclaimed news and reality television programs, such as, Emmy Award winning Dateline NBC, NBC’s Emmy nominated “The Apprentice,” Oprah Winfrey’s “Your Own Show,” Bravo Network’s Emmy nominated and Taste Award winning show, “Flipping Out” and BET’s Prism Award winning “Keyshia Cole: The Way It Is.” Currently the Creator/Publisher of the digital publication BFW Magazine: Beauty, Fitness and Wellness for Women; Kanika started her journey in Willingboro, NJ and has lived in Singapore, Vancouver, California, Florida, New York and Hawaii.
Kanika’s new book, Stay Bold, (available on Amazon) gives you the push to move forward by shifting how you react to fear so that you no longer allow it to hold you back. After reading about her very transparent journey towards growth and healing in Stay Bold, I reached out to Kanika to share a few BOLD empowerment tips here on the PGRW platform.
Photo Credit: Daniella Barreto
PGRW: In “Stay Bold” you share your belief in the “Spirit of Aloha” calling you to Hawaii for a fresh start in life. What do you attribute to your evolving over the past 3 years that you have lived in the Pacific Paradise?
Utley: Being comfortable with being with yourself and understanding that sometimes you need to take the time to be alone with your spirit is all a part of the transformation process. Affording me the time for reflection, my lifestyle here in Hawaii is a lot different than how it was in LA. I originally came out to Hawaii for a photo shoot, but when the curiosity that has always driven me to seek out things and explore kicked in I decided to make Hawaii my home. But the opportunity to recharge doesn’t have to be a big trip to an overseas paradise, you can make small ways to recharge within your daily routine. Coming to terms with the notion that you can’t be bold when you are constantly giving yourself away has impacted the way that I have looked at growth over the past few years.
PGRW: I love how you make the connection between fitness and wellness when reflecting on your own spiritual growth. Highlighting how coaching the women that you met while living in Singapore shifted you from a self-serving outlook to completely serving others. What advice do you have for women who may have experienced trauma in their lives and are looking to be more grounded in love and purpose in their own journey?
Utley: Not understanding that pain is a part of the healing process, sometimes we find ways to remain in denial because we are afraid of being vulnerable or “uncomfortable.” Deciding to be courageous in committing to understanding the trauma and how it impacted me, I learned why when I do yoga I feel like I’m on top of the world with breathe giving me power and meditation putting me in a space of reflection or why when I lift weights I feel powerful.
Being open to allowing my emotions (no matter how raw) to flow through me until it stopped flowing through me, I was able to begin to believe in my own power and chip away at the fear. Fears of vulnerability were replaced with feelings of empowerment. My experience in Singapore is an example of how believing in my own power put me in a position where I could empower others while sharing, learning and building
meaningful connections.
PGRW: In the book, you talk about how accepting fearful thoughts and feelings by not judging them has helped you to live a more fulfilling life beyond fear. Some of the worst travel advice that I have received over the years was rooted in fear of the unfamiliar. What is the worst piece of travel advice that you have received?
Utley: When I told people about living in Singapore, they assumed that no one spoke English and envisioned me struggling with the language. That wasn’t my experience at all. To the contrary, Singapore is a cosmopolitan city with a melting pot of people from different parts of the world that also speak English.
PGRW: I LOVE birthday travel [click here to read about my birthday in Iceland]. Reading about your hike up Mt. Kota Kinabalu in Malaysia for your 40th birthday gave me all kinds of life. What made you choose to bring in the big 4-0 in such an EPIC way?
Utley: While it was the hardest thing that I have ever done, climbing as high as I could go on that day left me starting my next chapter with an AMAZING sense of accomplishment (6 hours up the mountain and 5.5 hours down). Staying bold means staying committed and always looking up. Fear grabs a hold of us when we look down and that’s how we fall.
“Wanna fly, you got to give up the sh*t that weighs you down” – Toni Morrison